Love You Forever (Serendipitous Love Book 5) Page 11

  My father and I had never revisited that conversation from the day of the heart attack, because I was afraid of a repeat event. Honestly, I still had anger stewing from that, so if I released it now, there was no telling what might come out of my mouth. And if that happened… who knew what kind of disaster that would be?

  “Now, hold on,” My father said, turning on me with a piercing stare. “All this time, I thought a management position at Stacks was what you wanted? Now I offer you the chance, and you say no?”

  I gave him a wry smile. “Yes. I’m saying no. Of the options I have, assistant manager at Stacks is least appealing to me at this time.”

  “Let’s put a pin in it.” He shook his head, and then turned to Harlan with a grin. “Talk to her, won’t you?”

  Immediately, Harlan’s face wrinkled into a confused scowl. At the same time “What?” came from his mouth, “Excuse me?” came from mine, and I realized that keeping myself in check so I didn’t upset my father would be harder than I thought.

  “Talk to me?”

  My father glanced between me and Harlan. “Did I say something ambiguous? Harlan, I want you to talk to Sydnee and get her to see the merits of taking this position. Sydnee, listen to the man. He has a good head on his shoulders, which is why I’m okay with this pairing between you two. I know he’ll be able to guide you –”

  “Whoa, whoa,” Harlan said, raising his hands in front of him. “Stacks, man… Syd doesn’t need me to explain anything to her, she knows what she wants to do.”

  “Exactly.” On my other side, my mother crossed her arms. “Sidney, what on earth is your problem? I told you this was not going to go how you hoped!”

  “Let’s just go,” I said, looking across the table at Harlan, but he shook his head, looking over to my father.

  “There’s more than enough responsibilities for another manag—”

  Daddy grunted, interrupting Harlan. “I am trying to give your daughter what she seemed to want. This is a more than reasonable compromise!”

  “The fact that you feel giving me a position I’m more than qualified for – a lesser position to the one you passed me over for, even though I was qualified for it – is a compromise… says everything about how you view me.” I stood up, shaking my head as I willed myself not to cry, and my father – looking, to his credit, positively baffled – shook his as well.

  “There’s room for you as a full manager,” Harlan said, shooting a look of disbelief in Daddy’s direction. “Since a new position is suddenly open…”

  Daddy glared at Harlan, then sighed as he looked back to me. “Okay, so co-managers then. Whatever it takes to have this done and over with, so I can have some damned peace around here.”

  My nostrils flared, and I stepped away from the table. “No. Thank. You. I would rather take the job where I earned my position on merit, rather than because my father just wants his spoiled little brat to shut up. I want the position because I’ve worked my ass off, because I would be good at it. I want to be seen as an asset, not have this handed to me as a conciliation. I’m not asking for a favor, I’m asking for fairness here.” My voice cracked as I finished my statement, but if I didn’t know anything else, I knew tears wouldn’t make him see things any differently.

  Daddy was looking at me with genuine confusion and frustration in his eyes, which honestly made it worse. The fact that he really didn’t understand what was so wrong with assistant manager, or telling Harlan to “talk to me”… it was like he didn’t want to get it.

  Harlan kissed my mother, and thanked her for the meal, then offered my father the respect of thanking him for the invitation to dinner. Daddy’s only response was a derisive grunt, which I knew got under Harlan’s skin, from the way his jaw clenched.

  “Syd, come on,” he said, his expression grim as he held out his hand. Without looking at my father, I took it, ignoring his grumble of “well ain’t this some shit”.

  “I’ll talk to him,” my mother whispered, standing to give me a hug. “Again. I’ll talk to him again.”

  I shook my head, then kissed her. “Don’t bother, mommy. I’m happy with the job I have, with Nix and Charlie. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

  With a heavy sigh, she nodded. “Okay. I love you.”

  “I love you too mama.” I turned to my father, who was still sitting at his place at the table, scowling. “I love you, daddy.”

  “I love you too, Short Stack. One of these days, that’s gonna actually get through to you.”

  I rolled my eyes at that little comment he threw on the end, then let Harlan lead me out of the house to his car. We climbed in, and rode in silence for several long minutes, until Harlan reached over, placing his hand on my thigh.

  “Hey…,” he said, squeezing a little to get me to look up. “Are you okay?”

  I closed my eyes, pinching them tight as hot tears bloomed behind my eyelids, but didn’t answer. I was doing my very best to hold it in, because I was honestly sick of even caring about this. As messed up as it was, at some point, I was going to have to accept that while my father loved me, without any doubts, he just didn’t see it for me when it came to running his restaurant. And as badly as I wanted it to be different, that would have to be okay.

  Eventually.

  In the moment, I dissolved into quiet tears, and was so absorbed I didn’t realize Harlan had pulled into a nearly empty parking lot until my door opened, he unbuckled my seatbelt, and had knelt beside me and pulled me into his arms.

  “I’m sorry that happened,” he said, then kissed my forehead. “I’ll talk to him, and—”

  “No.” I shook my head, sniffling as I looked up at him, meeting his gaze. “Nobody needs to talk to him, he’s made up his mind. It’s past time for me to accept that, and move on. But… I appreciate you for being on my side.”

  He smiled, cupping my face in his hands. “Who else’s side would I be on, darlin’?”

  “Daddy’s,” I said, dropping my gaze as I chewed at my bottom lip. “I mean… you’re kind of risking a lot, aren’t you? What if he fires you, or never speaks to you again?”

  Harlan let out a heavy sigh. “Well… that would be fucked up. If something as simple as standing up for what I think is right causes a breakdown like that, the bond was pretty shaky anyway, right? But if I do get fired, I’ll be okay. I’ve been saving money for eight years, and putting off finishing school for the same amount of time. I guess I wouldn’t have an excuse anymore, so I could do that, then find something. Or hell, I know how to work with my hands, I’m sure Sean could find a place on his renovation crew for me. What, are you concerned about being involved with a deadbeat?”

  “No, not at all,” I said, smiling at his teasing tone. “I just know that you love being at Stacks, and you do a great job there, naturally. And I know it’s not easy for you to go against Daddy.”

  Harlan shrugged, but didn’t meet my eyes. “It’s not a big deal.”

  “It is,” I said, cupping his face in my hands to turn his gaze to mine. “For the last eight years, that place has been your life. And then with Daddy… you look up to him. You care about him, and you care about his approval, just like I do. You don’t have to downplay that.”

  Harlan tipped his head to the side, giving me a strange smile. “Stacks is aiight, I guess,” he chuckled, slipping his arms around my waist. “But right is right, and you honestly deserve that job. And… besides that,” he lifted his hands to my face, using his thumbs to wipe my wet cheeks. “I love you.”

  The air rushed out of my lungs, and I pulled back as my heart started racing. “I… what?”

  “Why do you look and sound so surprised, Syd?”

  I shook my head. “Because, I… you don’t think it’s a little soon for that?! We’ve only been seeing each other for a month.”

  As soon as those words were out of my mouth, in the panicky tone I delivered them, I regretted it. Harlan’s eyes went a little wide, then he wet his lips with his tongue before he spoke.
“And we’ve known each other a lot longer than that. We were friends, and then more, before you ran off to New York. I can’t tell you how you felt, but what I felt for you was a lot stronger than “liking” you. And that didn’t just stop because you left, or because you were mad at me, or I was mad at you. When you came back this time, I wasn’t starting from scratch… I feel like I’ve loved you forever.”

  A lump formed in my throat as I absorbed his words. “Harlan… that’s…”

  “Corny. I know,” he said, grinning a little as he shook his head. “But it’s the truth, darlin’. And I’m not asking, or expecting you to say it back, I just… I want you to understand that yeah, I’m on your side. Yeah, I’m gonna stand up for you, even if it means I’m taking some risks. And that’s why. Okay?”

  “Okay.” I returned his smile, then giggled as he kissed me. “Hey,” I said, when he pulled away. “You do realize you’re only 28, right?”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “Right…”

  “So… that’s a pretty short forever, if you ask me.”

  Harlan’s forehead wrinkled in confusion, then his face slowly spread into a grin as he caught what I was saying. “Alright then, Ms. Technical, let me revise that. I’ve loved you since I felt like I knew what it was. I’ve dated other people, and not felt for anybody else what I feel for you. You’re the first, and only woman I’ve ever wanted to say those words to. Is that better, darlin’?”

  I bit down on my lip to suppress a smile, then closed my eyes as he leaned forward to kiss me again. As his tongue slid into my mouth, I thought about what he’d said about his feelings not starting from scratch.

  Truthfully… mine hadn’t either.

  One I’d gotten past my misplaced anger, it was like I picked right up where we left off. A deep, heartfelt crush, that I’d assumed was unrequited. The bond we’d built, the trust we’d shared… it came right back, with very little effort. And now here he was, doing what he didn’t do often – laying his feelings bare for me to openly see. And really, his feelings weren’t so different from mine.

  And maybe… not different at all.

  When we pulled back from the kiss, I smiled at him, then took his face in my hands again. “It was fine the first way you said it, but I liked that too.”

  Harlan chuckled, then leaned around me to buckle my seatbelt again. “You ready to go?”

  I nodded, then accepted a kiss on the forehead as he stood, closed my door, then got back in the car himself. He started it, then reached for the gearshift, but I grabbed his hand before he could. He looked at me with his eyebrow raised, and I turned in my seat to face him, then lean forward to press my lips to his cheek.

  “I love you too.”

  Ten.

  One of his hands pinning my wrists behind my back.

  His other arm locked around my thigh, holding me in place.

  Me, eyes squeezed tight, whimpering and panting as I involuntarily rocked my hips, pressing myself down onto his mouth.

  Typical five in the morning activity for me and Harlan.

  He released my hands from his grasp so that he could push his fingers into me as he devoured me, and I grabbed the headboard as I collapsed forward. Tension built in my core as his tongue and fingers moved, dragging me closer to release with every stroke and swipe. I squeezed my thighs against his head as I came, and then didn’t even wait to catch my breath before I moved down his body, and lowered myself onto him.

  “Goddamn, Syd,” he hissed, biting his lip as I anchored my hands against his chest. His fingers dug into my hips, kneading and caressing as I began to ride him.

  I closed my eyes, savoring how good he felt inside me. Because of Harlan, I now knew that I loved morning sex. And… I loved him.

  I moaned as his hands traveled up my body to cup my breasts. “You don’t play fair, darlin’,” he said, teasing my nipples into hard pebbles. “Looking and feeling like this… how am I supposed to hold out?”

  “Don’t,” I giggled. “The goal is to make you come, so you can shower, and then get to the restaurant on time.”

  He groaned, and shook his head. “Nobody needs pancakes this damn early anyway.”

  “Harlan…focus. You need to come.”

  “You first.”

  “Already did.”

  “I want another one.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me down so that my breasts pressed into his chest as he kissed me. A cry caught in my throat as he began to move, meeting my rocking hips with upward strokes of his own. Several minutes later, I was giving him what he asked for, legs quivering as I came again. He held me tight against him, driving into me so hard it took my breath away as he came with a growl in my ear.

  Good thing I was in those not fertile days again.

  I laid there against him as long as I could, knowing that every minute he took was another chance he’d be late. Still, I was disappointed when he moved to get up, and pouted as he pulled his lean body out of bed and sauntered into the bathroom to shower.

  He’d been gone for a few minutes when my phone chimed, and I turned over to grab it from the bedside table.

  “Wash Harlan’s syrup off your face & come to yoga. I know you’ve gotta be off balance, you haven’t been in weeks. – Astrid.”

  I chuckled, then glanced at the time. It 5:15 now, and Astrid did a class at 6:00 before she switched gears and went to her design office. I could make it to class 45 minutes from now.

  “I’ll try.”

  Climbing out of bed, I left the phone in the covers as I ambled into the bathroom. I was at Harlan’s place, but five weeks into our relationship, we’d done so many sleepovers between apartments that mostly everything I might need, I had it here. I turned on the sink to brush my teeth as I breathed in the arousing scent of Harlan’s soap.

  “What are you gonna get up to today?’ Harlan asked, over the sound of the water running. “You sure you don’t want to come up to Stacks? We nee—”

  “Nope,” I said, with my toothbrush in my mouth. I finished brushing, then rinsed. “I’m going to yoga with Astrid, then helping Quinn with some class registrations and stuff. I will not be at Stacks.”

  A week had gone by since that disaster of a dinner with my parents. I hadn’t been anywhere near Stacks – the man or the restaurant – since then. Mama and Harlan were both trying to subtly lure me back into the fold, but my interest was nonexistent. I just wanted to move forward.

  “Just thought I’d ask,” Harlan said. “We really could use another manager.”

  I stuck my toothbrush back into the stand, then walked over to the shower and pulled it open, grabbing a clean washcloth from the cabinet before I stepped inside. Harlan had his back to the spray, but turned around when he felt me behind him.

  “Do you think I’m being unreasonable?” I asked, as I let the hot water run over my towel. “You think I really should accept the position?” I picked up my own body wash from the shower shelf, and poured out enough to soap my towel.

  Harlan smiled, then motioned for me to turn around, and took the washcloth from me. “I think,” he said, wrapping an arm around my waist, and pressing a hand to my stomach to hold me in place as he washed my back, “that you should do whatever feels right for you.”

  I moaned as he moved up to my neck, slipping the hot, soapy cloth over my skin. “What if I don’t know what that is?”

  His hand paused, hesitating, then he moved again, sliding the towel over my arms, and then around to my front. “Then you slow down. Don’t make any hasty decisions. Keep thinking it through, until your answer makes itself clear.”

  “How long will that take?”

  “As long as it takes,” he said, soaping my breasts. “You in a hurry?”

  I smiled. “No.” He moved the towel lower, nudging my thighs apart to wash me there. “You really think I’m capable? Of doing the manager job?”

  “Been thought that, Syd.” He dropped the washcloth, and a spasm of pleasure ran through me as he replaced it with his fingers
between my legs. “I tried to get him to switch,” he said, turning me around to press my back against the smooth wall of the shower. “When you first left… I felt like shit for a while, for accepting the job.”

  I drew my eyebrows together, looking up into Harlan’s face, watching water drip down his chin. “Why? You’d been working under him for six years, you knew the place inside and out. You’re smart, reliable, you do a great job as manager.”

  “But it wasn’t my job. You knew that, I knew that, Stacks knew that. I felt like I’d taken something from you, and I wondered if you thought that too. Wondered if you I’d done something, sabotaged you, or… shit, I didn’t know why you were mad at me, but I hated that shit. You wouldn’t talk to me.”

  My breath caught in my throat as he pushed his fingers into me, then used the other hand to lift my chin so I’d meet his gaze. He usually wore nonchalance so well that it caught me off guard, and made my chest constrict to see the raw hurt in his eyes.

  Yeah.

  I’d forgotten all about that.

  Things were so different now, and had moved so fast, that it had been easy to skip right past the fact that we’d been close before I left, and I cut him off with no explanation. I’d been assuming it really didn’t matter to him, because he was always so laid back, but right here, he was telling me the real deal.

  I’d hurt him.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered against his lips when he lowered his mouth to mine. I raised my hands, holding the sides of his face. “I convinced myself that you’d told Daddy some things that made him not choose me. In my mind, that was the only reason he would made that decision.”

  Harlan shook his head. “I never would’ve—”

  “I know,” I nodded. “Now, I know. But then, I was angry, and confused, and… I’m sorry, Harlan. Really.”

  I gasped when he picked me up, anchoring my back against the wall, and positioning my legs around his waist as he buried himself in me. He plunged his tongue into my mouth, snatching the air from my lungs as he kissed me. My fingers slid over his arms, trying to catch a grip as he drove into me, and when he finally pulled back from the kiss, he pressed his forehead to mine.