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Love You Forever (Serendipitous Love Book 5) Page 4
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Page 4
“What is it?” she asked, with a slight shake of her head.
I lifted an eyebrow. “Hm? Oh, nothing. You just… you look nice today.”
“Oh! Oh. Um… thank you,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“You’re welcome. And good morning to you too.”
She nodded, but didn’t move. “Um…I know we’re working on the syrups, but… I’m also supposed to be providing back up for you in my father’s place, so… does anything need backing up?”
“Nah, not right now.”
“Okay. So… I’ll just go and maybe… talk to the customers, or something.”
I smiled. “Sounds good to me. And I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
“Okay.”
Again, she didn’t move, but now she looked even more nervous than before, with her hands clasped in front of her as she fidgeted.
“Syd… was there something else?”
She blinked. “Oh. Um… no. Yes. Yes, there’s something else. I…” She choked a little over her words, and I realized then that her eyes were glossy with tears.
I was out of my chair before I could even think about it, stopping right in front of her. I wanted to touch her, comfort her, something, but… with the way things stood between us now, I didn’t even know if that would be welcomed. I pushed my hands into my pockets, and tried to look nonchalant. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
She tipped her head back to meet my gaze, and for about two seconds, I thought she was about to open up. But as her eyes raked over my face, something made her change her mind, and she shook her head. “Nothing, Harlan. I… never mind. I’m gonna go ahead out front.” Sydnee tore her gaze from mine, and turned to head out of the door.
“You know, there was a time you wouldn’t have done that.”
I don’t even know what made me say that out loud, but it made Syd stop. “Done what?” she asked, not turning around.
“Shut me out like that.” I took the few steps necessary to reach her, then hesitated over what to do next. What would her reaction be? There was a good chance I’d get smacked in the face if I touched her, but… we were almost close enough to touch now, and she hadn’t moved. I reached for her hand, and she flinched, but didn’t pull away as my fingers closed over hers. I tugged until she turned around, using her other hand to wipe her face.
“We used to be… friends,” I said, covering her palm with mine. “You really gonna stay mad at me forever?”
She sniffled, then let out a shuddering breath as she shook her head. “No.” She swallowed hard, then cleared her throat. “That’s actually what I was about to talk to you about, but it’s…I feel so stupid. And embarrassed. And I just…” she sighed, then wiped her face again. “I’ve treated you like shit, without a good reason, and… I know it probably doesn’t mean that much to you, but I need you to know I’m sorry.”
Oh.
Wow.
That caught me so off guard that I froze for a second, because… what? I was expecting more along the lines of hell yes I’m still mad. I knew she was pissed about me getting the job as manager, and really, why wouldn’t she be? Not only was she Stacks’ daughter, she was actually over qualified for the position. I would have been pissed too, if my father had passed me over to give some newcomer the job I wanted, desperately. That part, I got.
What took a little longer was understanding her anger towards me.
It was obvious rage, right from the beginning, as soon as Stacks made that announcement naming me manager. I was confused as hell about what was happening, because I honestly thought the job was hers too, but as soon as I saw her face, I was very clear on what had happened. I’d never seen her crushed like that, so heartbroken and sad that it made my chest feel tight. Our eyes met, and she shook her head as tears dripped down her face, then turned around and headed out the door.
And I couldn’t get to her. Stacks was all excited, wanting me to shake hands with all these random people, then sign paperwork accepting the job. I actually hesitated, not wanting to do it, but how was I supposed to turn down something so big, from somebody who had completely changed my life? I reached out to Syd as soon as I could. Called, emailed, texted, but I couldn’t reach her. I figured she was just really upset that night, but I would see her the next day. We could talk then, and I could explain, but she never showed up, and still wouldn’t respond to any attempt to reach her. The day after that, I couldn’t hold out, and I asked Stacks about her, as casually as I could.
That’s how I found out she’d taken a job in New York. She’d told me about it before, how she was almost sure she’d hate the fast-paced, impersonal environment of the kitchen there, and the snooty, overpriced food. Syd preferred the laid-back atmosphere of Stacks. She liked being around her family and friends, making real food, crunching numbers. The fast, ritzy New York mood just wasn’t her vibe.
But Stacks wanted that for her. It was fancy, and impressive, right up his alley. So once he took away the option of being where she loved… I guess she decided to give it a chance. She’d packed up and left the day after the manager announcement, without even bothering to say goodbye.
“Yeah, she’s a little upset,” Stacks had said, reclining in his chair, and swiveling back and forth. “I had to explain to her that she would be glad later that she took advantage of this opportunity. I also had to explain that despite her degrees and certifications, I just didn’t think she was ready for this.”
Didn’t think she was ready for… shit!
After the conversation we’d had, where I’d even mentioned talking to Stacks about the job, there was no doubt in my mind that if he’d said that to her… she definitely thought I was the one who’d put that in his ear. She never even gave me a chance to explain, or defend myself against that. She just cut the ties on our friendship, and whatever feelings we shared, and tossed them away. Too bad it wasn’t quite that easy for me.
At first, when she left, I’d been hurt because she completely shut me out, with no explanation. That hurt shifted into anger, because I hadn’t done anything. Anger led into resignation, because holding on to anger just really wasn’t my thing. She was gone, she wasn’t talking to me, so… what could I do other than let it be? Unfortunately for me, through all those stages, my feelings for her had lingered. So here I was, trying to hold on to not caring about a woman who still, in spite of our past, made my heart race.
I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t realized she’d slipped her hand from mine until she was halfway out the door. I wanted to catch her, but as soon as I opened my mouth to say her name, I heard Stacks’ voice booming from the kitchen as he headed toward the back.
Sydnee escaped into the bathroom, and I closed the office door, trying to look busy in case Stacks looked in. His voice carried down the hall as he rambled on, probably on the phone, and bypassed the manager’s office to go to his own. A few moments later, he passed again, and once more minutes had gone by without seeing or hearing him, I realized he must have left.
Whether or not Sydnee was still here was the real question on my mind though.
When I couldn’t find her anywhere in the back, I ventured out front, where I found her talking to a table of regular customers. Instead of interrupting, I headed into the kitchen where Jamar stood, at the grill, stealing glances in her direction.
“Bruh,” he said as I approached, keeping his voice low. “Why is Stacks’ daughter so goddamned fine, man? It doesn’t even make any sense!”
“Yeah…” I scratched my head as I looked around, trying to steal a few glances of my own. “She’s beautiful.”
She was laughing at something, so her face was spread into a big smile as she tossed her head back. When she was done laughing, a subdued version of that smile remained as she leaned across the table, her eyes bright with interest as she listened to the story she was being told. This was why the customers loved her. She wasn’t out giving political smiles, asking people how they were doing when she really didn’t car
e. She was actually interested, and the customers felt that, and kept coming back because they appreciated it. Just like they loved this place, she did too.
“Yo… I think I’ma try to holler at her.”
A vein at the side of my head immediately began to twitch. I ran my tongue over my teeth, then turned to face Jamar. “Nah, man. Don’t even try it. Stacks will kill your ass over his baby girl.”
Jamar shrugged. “We grown as hell, man. Pops ain’t gotta know. At least not for what I’m tryna do. You see the body on that girl? Perfect titties, and that ass.” He playfully gripped his chest, doubling over, and I had to take a step back to keep from hitting him. I knew he didn’t mean any harm, but… still.
“Don’t talk about her like that, alright? Have some respect.”
“I’ve got respect man,” Jamar grinned. “I have mad respect for an ass like that. Reverence for an ass like that. Woo, and I bet her…” – he bit his fist – “I bet… man, listen to me. I would get down on my knees and worship if her pus—”
“Aye, shut the fuck up,” I hissed, balling my hands into fists at my sides as I got in Jamar’s face.
He raised his hands. “Whoa, goddamn. I was just playing around. But um… you sure Stacks is the one I’ve gotta worry about when it comes to Sydnee? You looking at me like you want to hurt me man, and the only reason that would make any sense… is if you’re tryna get at her.”
I swallowed, hard. “Nah… it’s not like that,” I said, taking a deep breath as I stepped back. I glanced around, hoping none of the customers had seen that little exchange, but everybody in view was involved – either in conversation, or with their plates.
“You sure?” Jamar asked, as a grin crept back onto his face. “Cause it sure in the fuck looks like it’s like that. I mean, I know you said all of that stuff, “She hate me,” and all, but Harlan… my man…”
“I said no, didn’t I?”
Jamar shrugged. “Aiight. So it shouldn’t be a problem for me to respectfully ask her out, right?”
“Not if you don’t mind me putting your face through the grill first.”
“So it’s like that,” Jamar chuckled, batting at me with an oven mitt. “Look, Harlan, you’re the homie, right? So if you tell me that you’re feeling Sydnee, you’re trying to make something happen, I’m gonna fall back, out of respect. But otherwise… I’m tryna see what’s up. And I mean, I’m pretty fucking handsome, so… what’s the deal, man? That’s you, or nah?”
I snatched the oven mitt from him, crumpling it in my hands as I looked over at Sydnee. As if she felt her eyes on me, she looked up, and when our gazes met, my irrational anger at Jamar melted away. I smiled at her, and her eyes went a little wider in surprise before she gave me a little smile back, then quickly looked away.
“Yeah,” I said to Jamar, turning to face him as I shoved the oven mitt in his direction. “That’s me. Stay back.”
Five
“You seem different.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin.
I’d stepped outside, into the delivery area, just to take a breather and collect my thoughts after the intensity of that little impromptu meeting with Harlan. I’d washed my face in the bathroom, took a deep breath, and then went out to talk to the customers. It was a nice distraction for a bit, but then Harlan came out, and just having his energy in the same general area made my heart race. What I needed was the fresh air.
It had been working too. I felt a little calmer, a little less on edge. Definitely less anxious than yesterday, or the day before. Better, now that I’d apologized to Harlan. Maybe he accepted it, maybe not, but at least it felt like a step in the right direction. What direction that was? I had no idea. Anything was better than where we’d been though… right?
But now, my mother had picked it up. Inspector Scott, as I jokingly referred to her, had noticed a shift in the atmosphere, and was coming to investigate – and scare me half to death in the process.
“What do you mean?” I asked, turning my face up toward the sun, hoping my eyes no longer looked bloodshot from crying.
She clicked her tongue. “Don’t play coy with me, little girl. Did something happen?”
“Something like what?”
“Something,” she said, cupping my chin to pull my gaze toward hers as she stepped in front of me, “like a mending of the rift between you and Harlan?”
I swallowed hard. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
As much as I loved my mother, as much as I told her – almost – everything, I’d never given her an explanation for my sudden disdain for Harlan. She and my father both assumed it was only because of the job – as far as I knew – and I let that assumption ride. I didn’t know what the reaction would be if they found out just how close Harlan and I had become before the announcement of that job, but I knew I didn’t want to risk causing a split between him and my parents. If my father knew I’d left for New York with a broken heart, Harlan’s job may not have been the only thing in jeopardy.
But Inspector Scott was always onto something.
“Sydnee, when you came back here less than a week ago, you refused to even share a dinner table with that young man. Five minutes ago, I saw him smile at you, and you smiled back. And not that fake smile you do either – you blushed, young lady, and I don’t mean your cheeks turned red.”
My eyes went a little wider. She’d seen that?
I’d been heading to the back, and Harlan had been coming out, so we almost bumped into each other. He’d grabbed my arms to steady me, then smiled, and I’d bolted out here to calm my racing heart.
“So… you want to tell me about it, or not?”
“Not,” I answered, putting a hand up to cover my smile when she rolled her eyes.
“You know your secrecy only lets me know for sure that there’s something going on, right? You may as well just tell me….” She smiled, then nudged my shoulder with hers until I started laughing.
“Okay, okay,” I giggled. “It’s really nothing, I just… I apologized to him, for being so…”
“Bitchy?”
My mouth dropped open. “Mama! I was going to say mean.”
She shrugged. “Bitchy is more accurate though. But finish what you were saying.”
“Thank you. I apologized for being… bitchy… to him, and… I don’t know. I guess he accepted. He seems pretty accepting, but I mean… it’s Harlan. Flirting and smiling and pleasantry is just his default nature. I doubt he’s really forgiven me that quickly.”
My mother grabbed my hand and squeezed. “You’re assuming you weren’t already forgiven, before the apology. My Harlan isn’t the grudge holding type.”
“Your Harlan?” I lifted an eyebrow, and my mother grinned.
“Yes, my Harlan. I’m still holding out hope he’ll really be my son one day. Hint, hint.”
“Mama!”
She raised her hands in an innocent gesture. “What? He’s hardworking, intelligent—”
“He’ll be dead if Daddy found out. I know what all of that “think of him as your brother” stuff is about, and it’s not building unity. He doesn’t want us together.”
My mother waved a hand, swatting that idea away. “Oh, honey please. That’s just your father not thinking anyone is good enough for you. I remember when he sat you down and ran through his list of “standards” for any boy you wanted to date. I guess he doesn’t realize he’s groomed Harlan into exactly that. He came to us in those formative years, where a boy becomes a man, and he soaked up your father’s influence. So if Harlan isn’t good enough for you honey, nobody is, and it’s your Daddy’s fault, because he was the one who shaped and molded him.”
“I… I guess that makes sense, but it’s one thing to make sense, and something else entirely getting Daddy to accept it,” I said, raking a hand through my hair.
“Why does he have to, Sydnee? You’re a grown woman. A very young one, but still grown. I know I have my little quirks, with wanting you to live at hom
e, and let me feed you, and all of that, but the fact does remain that this is your life, and your choices to make. Just because your father and I think something is best for you, that doesn’t make it so. Like… going to New York.” She crossed her arms, then leaned against the building as she looked at me. “One day you’ll tell me what really happened up there, to send you running back home, but I know you weren’t happy. So you did the grown woman thing. You didn’t run to us crying and begging. You made arrangements, and plans, while you were still there, and did what you needed to do to make the transition seamless. And unless I’m gravely mistaken, you saved your friend from something ugly. Should you consider others when you’re making a decision? Absolutely, because that’s just the human thing to do. But wait for approval – and from your parents, at that? – honey no. Grown women don’t need that.”
She stepped forward, cupping my chin to plant a kiss on my cheek. “But just in case… as long as you’re safe, and happy? Know that you have our blessing, even if your father wants to fuss about it.”
I hugged my mother back when she opened her arms to me, then kissed her on the cheek before she went inside, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Nights like this… this is what I was missing.
Later that night, I found myself tucked into a corner at Urban Grind, laughing and having a blast as I watched the guys. Somebody had found a deck of cards, and after all manner of shit-talking occurred, an intense battle commenced. We’d all played at some point, but now it was down to Harlan, Cason – who was supposed to on security, not playing cards –, Jamar, and Quinn.
Drinks in hand, me and the rest of the crowd waited on bated breath for them to play the agreed upon last round before they lowered the lights for open mic. They each held one card that would determine the winner. It was Quinn’s turn, and all eyes were on her as she looked around, then took a deep breath. She blew out a puff of air between her lips, then shook her head.
“Well,” she said, then glanced up at Jamar, who had been super-competitive all night. “It’s my turn. I guess this is it, huh?” She extended her card, face down, and then at last moment, flipped it up for everybody to see. “How did you phrase it, Jamar? UNO out, muhfuckaaaas!” she said, then slapped the card – a draw four – down on the table.